18 Cold Truths About Modern Dating In The Information Age

Dating in today’s world is just plain different than it was 15 years ago. Gone are the rules like not kissing on the first date and in are food selfies, hook-up apps, and alternate personas. Click next to discover the cold truths of what it is really like trying to date in the age of constant connectivity.

Getting to know someone through phone calls is already outdated.

A lot of communication nowadays is done through text and social media messaging. This makes it a lot more detached and impersonal because of its lack of face-to-face and audible communication. Chances are, your relationship may have misunderstandings because of the unclear tone of digital messages. Smart tip: better get familiar with the emoticon options.

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People use vague phrases to score on their targets.

Have you ever encountered phrases like “let’s chill” or “wanna hang out?” These phrases are often now used as an invitation to simply hookup. So if you ever receive them from a person you’re talking to online and actually agreed, make sure you know what they really meant. Otherwise, you might find yourself in an awkward situation upon meet-up.

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Some people want nothing more than a hookup.

Truth is, some people go to online dating apps only for a hookup. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory, so you’re not always guaranteed a solid relationship just because you met online.

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People create a persona.

While social media enables easier and more efficient communication, it also has its downside. Because users have full autonomy to curate their profiles, filtering information or hiding ugly truths is more easily possible. Worst case scenario, people downright lie or deceive their dates, which makes online dating all the more difficult.

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Social media encourages having many options.

As mentioned earlier, users curate profiles that best suit their interests. As a result, people rarely get the full picture of who the person on the other side of the screen truly is. Further, this allows people to test the waters with multiple dating options in mind. Hiding this information becomes easier, the more anonymous the user becomes.

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Online dating still has a stigma.

A survey in 2015 found that about 23% of U.S. adults think people who use dating sites and apps are “desperate.” Strangely, 16% of these dating site users agreed that using an app is indeed desperate. However, despite the figures, many successful couples have admitted their relationships started through a dating app.

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You likely won’t know someone fully until you’re in an actual relationship.

Because of the standing stigma toward online dating, people are generally scared to sincerely put themselves out there in romantic relationships. They don’t want to give the impression of being too available, too anxious, too nerdy, not funny enough, or not pretty enough. This prompts one to be cautious not to overshare or to even filter out personality traits, and that could mean not fully knowing the person until being in a relationship.

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Constant online messaging does not guarantee meet-ups.

For some users, turning digital connections into offline dates feels awkward. While these people feel comfortable engaging in online conversations, that doesn’t automatically mean that it would also be the case for actual meet-ups. Being honest might save both parties time in this case.

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You’ve already been searched before meeting.

In 2013, a survey found that 41% of adults from 18-29 age group use social media to gather more information on a potential date. If, during a date, you found yourself amazed that you share a lot of interests and hobbies, chances are, they’ve probably read that from your online profile.

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Looks still create a significant impression.

By not meeting in person and only having an online profile, looks tend to be the first impression. This may cause some online daters to become too nervous to meet in person, as they might not know what to expect.

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Not everyone is willing to put time into dating.

Most people have several priorities like work, family, friends, and hobbies, which can make time for dating difficult. Some people even dread making the effort to schedule a date. As a result, this can make it extremely difficult to get to know someone.

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Some people expect instant gratification from relationships.

When it comes to dating, some people are impatient and want all the benefits of a relationship right away. They’re always on the lookout for opportunities to take the relationship up a notch, rather than taking the time to develop the relationship at a healthy pace.

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People often prefer label-free relationships.

We all have baggage, whether it’s trust issues or being emotionally unavailable. And, remaining in a label-free relationship is a resort that works for people who say they don’t like labels. Unfortunately,, this set up opens doors for cheating and poor communication.

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Sometimes, you are not the only one they are dating. 

hen relationships are label-free, it is highly possible you are not the only person your online date is dating. Keep in mind that until there is a mutual agreement to become exclusive, you’re both free to still date others.

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Social media enables opportunities to cheat. 

With social media, people can engage in private messaging that can be deleted without a trace. Moreover, harmless liking of photos may also hint at subtle flirtation. While they are not valid excuses for cheating, they certainly increase the chances of it happening.

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People often lack creativity in expressing themselves.

Gone are the days when people go to great lengths to prepare surprises. In lieu, they would express their feelings by posting a Facebook or Instagram tribute with a lengthy caption. If you’re a person who prefers the former over the latter, we suggest not to get your hopes up. After all, it’s the sincerity of the message that matters.

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Break-ups are even more brutal online.

Getting dumped is already harsh in itself, but modern dating just made it even more brutal. People can cut ties over the phone to avoid further drama. Worst, they can end things via text to evade the pain of hearing you break down into tears. Truth is, the easy way out is far from being considerate.

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Modern dating can affect marriage.

Those who long for a life partner often end up frustrated, waiting endlessly for a serious one to come along if they resort only to online dating. While modern dating has both pros and cons, it’s important that each party is aligned with their intentions.

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